How to Be a Programmer — Follow at Your Own Risk

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Time that we are living in falls under 'Post Modernism'; a period of great economic Strum and Drang. Earning a livelihood is becoming harder everyday and who knows what's left for you in this global commotion. Many intelligent and industrious people are wondering which careers they should engage with, in future. Surely, Web Development is the most remunerative, money-making and lucrative profession of the day and would surely be for the next 10-15 years or even beyond. Here are some expert tips for you if you want to make a mark in this industry.
  • First of all, be lazy. In fact, especially on job interview, be extremely lazy. Because Bill Gates – the biggest employer in the world, has revealed that he used to choose the laziest person to do the hardest jobs. Why? It's none of your business. Your employer would know better because he knows Bill Gates more.
  • A little more words on job interview. Show your dedication by unshaven beard, unkempt hair, ragged trousers/jeans with baggy T-shirt and super-thick glasses on your nose. These would add value to your work. Your employer would be impressed to see your dedication.
  • Be creative. Don't be scared. It's not always coming up with brand new idea or making something out of thin air. If it were creativity, Graham Bell wouldn't be surely hailed anymore than Elisha Gray. Just as Graham Bell, you can also steal ideas from peers or predecessors and cloak them as your own. Everybody around here is doing this and it's officially creative.
  • Don't ever think of being famous or any sugar-candy for people and rich too. How many of programmers and coders have you ever known? And besides, this icon-stuff is already reserved for fishes working in TV, Movies and Sports etc.
  • Learn to speak with forged tongue. Your employers won't expect anything negative about the results. Bring positive coating to your mistakes and failures. At times, babble anything, it works.  For example, "this terrible design tells the metaphysical and intriguing process of customer's buying behavior". Let your team leader/team manager decipher that nonsense and meanwhile you set the things right.
  • If you cannot hold briefcase to your mistakes, then often it is helpful to put it on others. In business, it's mutual understanding. Learn to be wide open for criticism. At times and again, you would be verbally battered for the things that you are not responsible. Often, because your management is having a bad day and you might have one too.
And, lastly and most importantly, even if you happen to maintain your employment, then start seriously on mastering the art of the trade and add up more tools in your skill-set or else any moment, you would get fired.
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